Our Worlds Have Met Before!

God says you are: Unique (Psalms 139:13), Lovely (Daniel 12:13),

Precious (1 Corinthians 6:20), Chosen (John 15:16), Special (Ephesians 2:10), Strong (Psalm 18:35).

What are these words draw forth in you?

Maybe a desire for change? A determination to reinvent yourself? To set yourself up for vowing to make massive changes, that will be hard to make? Researching the change you would like to make and plan?

That is how I used to feel and think. Change. I had such a deep desire to become those above beautiful things. I was pursuing change very passionately, and the more I felt that I needed to change, the more changing became a trap without escape. I used to believe that to feel and see that I am those things, and other great character qualities, I needed to change. I wanted to change. I used to live in a constant realm of becoming and trying to change, but somewhere I missed the place of being.

You see, I managed to become very self-critical of myself at a very young age, and somewhere along the way, I placed self-criticism on autopilot.

I did not know that too much self-criticism, in the long term, will negatively impact my success and health.

Being too self-critical hurts our self-esteem and confidence, and it will lead us down on the road to perfectionism.

And in this process of going on autopilot with being such a great critic, I started to not be good enough for myself. I blamed myself for every negative outcome; I felt personally responsible when something terrible happened. Whether it was my fault or not, I spent a lot of time and energy analyzing my mistakes.

But I always saw "change" as my solution to these problems; my critic kept whispering me sweet promises, they were still just right around the corner, if I only change and become.

My desire to change and "to become" started to slow down when I began to experience the meaning of transformation. That was my tipping point.

I began to see that my primary key is the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2), a brain detox if you will, focusing on changing how I see myself, and not on changing my behaviors.

I started to see that change is external, and transformation is internal.

I've noticed that change comes from pressure, assessing what is wrong with me, and trying to fix it. The problem with this kind of pressure to change, and to become, is who will tell me when is enough to stop? How will I know when I've changed enough?

I believe there is a difference between change and transformation.

Why is change not the same as transformation,in my opinion, and experience?

First, I would like to give a simple example of how I see this difference.

If you know me, you know I love fashion. There is a big difference between desiring a dress or having a dress.

Desiring a dress, that I do not have, planning for it, saving up for it, and hoping that one day I will have that dress, which I might not, is how I see change; it is a future outcome, depending on different circumstances.

Change modifies my behavior; it tells me what I am not, and what I must become. When change says what I am not, that sends me feelings and messages that I am not quite where I need to be; I am not enough just yet. Change is assessing what is wrong with me. Change will take me down to a road of continual work and effort. To me that is religion.

Having the dress already in my possession, it is mine; I do not have to do anything to earn it, even though the dress will need some alterations; this is transformation for me. I already possess it, regardless of the different circumstances, and no matter what adjustments might be required to be done to it. Transformation modifies my heart beliefs; it tells me what I am, and helps me to yield to a process. To me that is faith.

When I am allowing to see myself who I am in Jesus, when I believe that I am who God says I am, when I start experiencing God's love, when I take God at His Word, the process of transformation begins. I could say it is a permanent and effortless change.

It is a journey that builds up my faith and self-worth, and it takes me down on the road to rest.

Transformation tells me who I already am, not who I need to change to become. It is a heart-work; it starts with experiencing God's acceptance for me, discovering and writing God's promises for me on the tablets of my heart, experiencing and feeling His extravagant and unconditional love for me, which makes this journey an empowering experience.

It is the way how I experience God's love daily.

It is how God is pursuing me with His love, winning my heart, singing songs over me that have been explicitly written for my soul. He knows what takes my breath away and knows what makes my heart beat faster. Jesus is delighting in revealing Himself to us as an extravagant and abundant lover. To me that is transformation.

" We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what he might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what he might do to us and shows that we are not fully convinced that he really loves us. So you see, our love for him comes as a result of his loving us first." ( 1 John 4: 18-19, Living Bible)

"Whatever is in the heart overflows into speech." (Luke 6:45, Living Bible)