Anticipation is fear’s secret knuckle duster!

As I mentioned in other blogs, and of course if you know me well, you know what a huge beholder I am of Hallmark movies...I love the feeling of cozying up with a great Hallmark movie, to me it’s heart warming, busts up my joy and smile, and definitely gives me that “ahhhh” feeling....especially on a rainy day, or on a cold wintery day...and yes we are finally enjoying some fall around here....I heard so many comments about the Hallmark movies, of how unrealistic they are, or how the end is always so predictable, how we cannot expect real life to be like a Hallmark movie...as I hear these kinds of comments, I alway chuckle, and I am always tempted to ask folks that when they watch Superman, do they really expect Clark Kent to fly around the next day? And even though the other day I had a good laugh with one of my friends about “ what do you mean tomatoes don’t talk?”, do folks really have their kiddos watch Veggietales in the hope of hearing tomatoes talk and cucumbers sing? Of course not... I rest my case... Now back to the Hallmark movies, as I was watching this fall movie the other day, and of course the movie was adorable, I loved the main character’s personality, character and heart....she was so honest, so vulnerable, so down to earth, so loving, so open....but what inspired me most of all, it was how she allowed herself to be her real self no matter what the circumstance was...she was genuine with her beliefs and boundaries , regardless what was going on around her. And she was OK to communicate her feelings and thoughts accordingly. And I can almost see some of you rolling your eyes and say: of course she was, it’s a Hallmark movie...but now really, hear me out. Many times I blog about my past experiences I went through, but this one is recent...as I watched this character in the movie, I started to realize that how many times I allow circumstances to influence my boundaries and my beliefs...how I act, or react, how I talk and how I “do”.... I am not referring to my core beliefs, but how many times I play in the hands of accommodations of others,or in the hands of pleasing...but am I doing those because I really care about others?, or because of fear of what might happen if I rock the boat... Pondering on this, and having conversations about such things with my loved ones and friends , it brought another thought to mind: how do I listen to others, especially to my loved ones?.... Do I listen so I can reply? Do I listen so I can give my opinion? Do I listen so I can react or act? Or Do I listen so I can understand? So I can see beyond my own feelings, fears, insecurities...so I can hear and see the other person... You might ask what this has to do with the Hallmark movie's character? I am glad you asked, because I am so eager to share with you what I feel and think... In order to be able to listen attentively, I must be able to put my own reactions aside for a moment and hear out the other person, see their reasons, see them for who they are, what are they expressing and why, and not through the lenses of my own reactions, which gives me time to listen, hear, see and evaluate, to understand...which means I am not acting nor reacting in the next second I heard the person talking. This way I can keep my peace, my composure, you can say I can keep my cool..and only this way I can really evaluate if I need to rock the boat, if I need to express myself, if there is really something to the “what” is worrying me... Now finally the conversation, is not some personal Kung Fu fight, but a mature exchange of ideas by spoken words. And most importantly:"you", the person who is expressing yourself, you matter in this conversation, not just me. Your opinions, your feelings, your values, your beliefs...this way it becomes about both of us, not just one of us.. What made my movie character so special? It was her skill to listen and hear out the other person, she was able to be true to herself and her values at all times, because she was able to put aside her own self for a second and see and hear the other...She was able to not take everything to the extreme ...like I usually do...I think until I learn how to actively and passionately listen without reacting or acting, I wont be able to be the real sweet me all the time...those two go hand in hand..in order to be the genuine me all the time and be able to express myself in a real way, I need to know how to listen. To me Anticipation is fear’s secret weapon. What do I mean? The more I ruminate on what’s going to happen, the more fear takes root...I know that fear really has a way of stopping us in our tracks, doesn’t it? standing on our truths, rocking the boat, saying or doing things, or even allowing ourselves to be the real deal at all times... Even though I don’t have this nailed down, I might not have some powerful strategy in plan , I do have an idea...I am planning of playing with fear, using its own weapon against it...How? I am going to use anticipation against fear...its own weapon but turned around...when fear knocks, instead of allowing anticipation to ruminate on fearful things might happen, I will use anticipation for wonderful things might happen....rewriting my own anticipations cert of speaking..what the Bible calls a prisoner of hope...I am going to play and fight fear on its own turf with its own weapons.. My deepest desire is to be genuine, at all times, to be my real self, no matter of what or who is around me, to be known for my genuineness...to hear, listen and understand you..even if that means you and I have to agree to disagree..even if I have to rock that boat...well yes I am a work in progress... I will leave you with the words of Citizen Ways’ song, just feel the the words with your heart, “When I am with You” : “These are the things that I need to pray Because I can't find peace any other way I'm a mess underneath and I'm just too scared to show it Everything's not fine And I'm not okay But it's nice to know I can come this way When I'm with you I feel the real me finally breaking through It's all because of you, Jesus Anytime, anywhere, any heartache I'm never too much for you to take There's only love There's only grace When I'm with you... I'm breathing in I'm innocent It's like my heart's on fire again I'm not afraid I'm not ashamed I'm safe when I am with you” Darling, See you on the battlefield, or at the Hallmark movies, fearlessly! 

The secret has been unveiled! Anticipation is fear’s secret knuckle duster, no more! There is no fear in love!