Braveheart!

Flying or invisible? Yesterday I watched one of the Hallmark movies...yes, my confession is that I love the Hallmark channel. I don’t just like those movies for their romantic tone, which is very lovely, but for their purity , for what they try to underline beside romance, that time matters, family and friends matter, you matter, community matters, that life can be beautiful with the simple things, rest matters, that life should be lived as God intended for us to live, and I could go on and on...but back to the movie, the girl was sifting through her suitors, with the question “ if you could be a superhero, would you like to be flying or to be invisible?” ...if the answer was “invisible” the suitor got dismissed... So let me tell you about one of my experiences...I figured this out few years ago, but hearing this on the TED talk, made me realize that I am not the only one struggling with this... I am an only child, and for the first 9 years of my life, I was the only granddaughter for my mom’s parents...Yes, you guessed it right, I was not just loved, but superbly spoiled as well...My parents adored me, and I adored them, still do...you might argue with me, that yours are as well, but I will still stick to my opinion, that I had and have, the best parents in the whole wild world... As little, I started to develop something I would call a perfectionist syndrome...not sure if I wanted to please my people, or the fact that I grew up in a small community, or maybe because that’s what I thought will make me popular, or in my mind that’s how life worked, simply because that’s how I knew how to love me, but as I developed this personality trait , it started to grow and overtake me more and more...but you see as I was developing my perfectionist skills, the bravery skill was pushed to the side and never developed....it mattered to me that everything was perfect to a T, from hair, to my dress, to my speech, my behavior...everything... I didn’t know back then, what I know now, but you can not develop perfectionism and bravery at the same time....it’s just simple impossible, if one grows the other shrinks...and believe me I struggled with bravery all this time... Now I know that bravery is a better trait or skill to have, not just because those who love me do not want me perfect and want the real me, But because by being brave, I might go places where I may fear to travel, exploring uncharted territory...bravery requires a fierce commitment to being authentic, it requires to be a truth teller! Bravery breaths confidence, and breaths a life of honesty and authenticity. Where perfectionism would tell me to stand down, bravery would tell me to keep going. Bravery is the trait that shows up as the transparent self. I think now of my perfectionism , as more of a mask for my fears, especially the fear of not being enough. I think that living in my perfectionism, I was able to allow myself to wave between the impulse to reveal myself, and the impulse to protect myself...and the latter always won. I lived in a world where I longed to be known as much as I longed to be hidden, and through my perfectionist trait I was always hiding. I wanted so much more to be popular then to be true... I wish I could tell you that I am all bravery now, and I have completely broken up with perfectionism, but I would be lying....few years ago I started a journey down on bravery’s path, I am able now to fight perfectionism, and I love the fact that by bravery I can be myself, and by being the real me, I don’t have to wear masks anymore...but now and then perfectionism still shows up at the door of my heart, and tries to be charmingly convincing, that is here to protect me and to help me. So what bravery and fighting perfectionism thought me? ...that bravery without love is ugly, and love without bravery is spineless...that with bravery also comes authenticity, living a life without masks and hidden agendas... that bravery opens me up to the most wonderful spiritual relationship with my Heavenly Father....that bravery empowers me to live a meaningful and loving life with others. Bravery doesn’t just happen to you, you develop it, just like you develop perfectionism...I am not going to tell you that it’s easy..

I become more real and brave when I am most known and loved, the more real and brave I become, the more love and freedom I experience. Bravery breaths authenticity, which focuses on being , not on doing. When bravery flows from a loving heart, which is being~ my actions, which is doing, will also flow naturally...no need to hide, no need for perfectionism, no need for pretense...my doing will flow naturally from my being! I do not ever want to trade bravery for perfectionism, ever again,  how about you? And back to the Hallmark movie, perfectionism will go for the invisible trait, not for flying....flying requires of being seen, it requires bravery... I will leave you with knowing that as I am learning bravery, fighting off perfectionism, now I enjoy everything and everybody around me, I can live in the moment, I see that there is something beautiful in everything and everybody, I also love and enjoy myself ...and guess what, I can even enjoy a bad hair day....

And what do I do when perfectionism knocks at the door of my heart? I look back on these few years and remind myself how amazing and freeing it is to live in bravery, no matter how lovely perfectionism might make life sound...

One of my favorite bible verses is:

“ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)  

Let’s go flying, shall we?!